December 13, 2011

Mommy, I think that cows make milk from the same place that they pee.

December 10, 2011

Mommy, that boy looks like a girl.

December 6, 2011

(pointing to his toes)
This little piggy went to market and tooted.
This little piggy stayed home and tooted.
This little piggy had roast beef and tooted.
And this little piggy stayed home and tooted.
And this little piggy went wee wee wee and tooted all the way home.

December 3, 2011

Little Man: Mommy, I need to make a little cone for Harry (his stuffed animal dog).
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  I need to put it on his head so he doesn't bite his tail.

December 1, 2011

Mommy:  When's your birthday?
Little Man:  I don't remember because it was so long ago.

November 26, 2011

The tree is so beautiful.  I can't even speak.

November 23, 2011

Mommy, I need some Christmas socks to hang on the fireplace.

November 18, 2011

Mommy, I always hear you talking.  You talk a lot.

November 12, 2011

Mommy:  Why did you try to steal a fork from the restaurant?
Little Man:  (sigh)... I don't know...

November 7, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, I'm always the last one in class every day.
Mommy:  But you aren't late....
Little Man:  You need to get out of bed on time!

November 5, 2011

I like to toot every morning.

November 2, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, can I put paint on my eyes like some people do?
Mommy:  No, that's just for girls.
Little Man:  Well it can be for girls and for me.

October 31, 2011

(Deciding what to take from a bowl while trick-or-treating)
I want the apple and I'll get a piece of candy for Daddy.

October 29, 2011

I thought only girls had curly hair, but then I met a boy at school and he had curly hair.  So now I know that only girls have curly hair and one boy has curly hair.

October 23, 2011

Little Man:  Can we get another dog?
Mommy:  You already have a dog.
Little Man:  I just want a little dog that I can carry around everywhere.

October 20, 2011

Mommy:  The note from your teacher said that on Halloween you can dress up like what you want to be when you grow up.
Little Man:  Ok, I want to be Spiderman.
Mommy:  You can't dress up as Spiderman....
Little Man:  Why not?
Mommy:  Because your teacher doesn't want you to be creative. 
Little Man:  What can I dress up as?
Mommy:  How about a fireman?
Little Man:  Ok!  Can I have an ax?

October 17, 2011

I'm going to walk around with a blanket around me, just like Grandma does.

October 14, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, can I put glitter on my face?
Mommy:  No, that's usually just for girls.
Little Man:  Well then can I put glitter on your face?
Mommy:  No, because that's glitter glue.
Little Man:  Well... how long do you want to keep it on your face?

October 11, 2011

I don't want to eat anymore.  I'm full.  But I'm only full of chicken.  I'm not full of ice cream.  So get me some ice cream.

October 10, 2011

Mommy, will you put on some cool music so I can dance?

October 6, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, do monkeys lay eggs?
Mommy:  No.
Little Man:  Then where do their babies come from?
Mommy:  They grow in their tummies.
Little Man:  Like humans?

October 3, 2011

Daddy:  What did you learn at school today?
Little Man:  I can't remember.
Daddy:  Did you do any math?
Little Man:  No, we don't do math anymore because I learned all of it already.

September 27, 2011

Little Man:  I like this song because it says "Who Wally".  (Wally is PaPa's dog)
Mommy:  No, it says "Who Are You". (by The Who)
Little Man:  No, it says "Who Wally".

September 20, 2011

Aunt Kimmie, I can't marry you anymore because I'm going to marry Areila with I grow up.  I love her.

September 17, 2011

Daddy takes Little Man to get a hair cut.

Hairdresser:  Who is that handsome guy in the mirror?
Little Man:  That's Daddy.

September 12, 2011

Note from teacher:
"[Little Man] continues to make poor choices.  It seems his only goal was to have all attention on him even if it was through misbehavior."

Mommy:  What did you do this time?
Little Man:  Ummm....  I didn't listen?

September 7, 2011

Mommy:  Did you get any bad notes today?
Little Man:  I don't know.  Maybe.  I think so.  I was just a little bad.
Mommy:  I'll look in your notebook when we get home.
Little Man:  Ok, but just keep smiling when you read it.

September 5, 2011

Dianne:  If you are real good at school and don't bring home any bad notes for four days then I'll take you to the park or we can get some ice cream.
Little Man:  Four days is too many.
Dianne:  No it's not.  A normal week is five days.  This week is only four days.
Little Man:  Ok, but I want to go the park AND get ice cream.

September 2, 2011

Note from the teacher:
"[Little Man] continues to hit other children with his lunch box during lunch.  Please do not allow him to bring his lunch box to school.  Have him bring his lunch in a plastic grocery bag. "

Mommy:  Why are you hitting other kids with your lunch box?
Little Man:  I don't know...

September 1, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, I have a new friend.  She doesn't know how to walk.
Mommy:  She doesn't?
Little Man:  No, she has to use a wheelie chair.

August 29, 2011

Mommy:  So what did you do at school today?
Little Man:  Nothing.
Mommy:  You must have done something.  What did you learn?
Little Man:  I don't know.
Mommy:  What do you mean you don't know?
Little Man:  Mommy, just stop talking.

August 24, 2011

Little Man:  Happy Birthday PaPa.  How old are you?
PaPa: 67
Little Man:  YOU ARE OLD!

August 23, 2011

Note from the teacher:
"He hit a classmate with his lunch box.  He put his fingers in his ears when I tried to talk to him about it."

Mommy:  I know you're a good boy. Why can't you be a good boy in class?
Little Man:  It's hard to be good because school is so much fun.

August 19, 2011

Mommy:  Why don't you finish your work at school?
Little Man:  Because I don't want to mess up.
Mommy:  Just remember that everyone makes mistakes.  Nobody's perfect.
Little Man:  Well Mommy, I am perfect.
Mommy:  You are?
Little Man:  Yes, I am the only perfect kid in the whole world.

August 17, 2011

Note from the teacher:
"He refused to finish his paper at school.  Please make him finish at home."

Mommy:  Why didn't you finish this at school?
Little Man:  I didn't want to.
Mommy:  Why not?
Little Man:  I was just tired of coloring so much. 

August 16, 2011

Note from the PE teacher:
"He was defiant.  Refused to exercise.  Insisted that he had already exercised enough for the day."

Mommy:  Why didn't you listen to the PE teacher?
Little Man:  Because I was tired and didn't want to do it anymore.
Mommy:  You have to listen to your teacher and do what she says.
Little Man:  Why?

August 15, 2011

Note from the teacher:
"He was unkind to another student."

Mommy:  What did you do?
Little Man:  I called his picture ugly.
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because I didn't like it!

August 12. 2011

Little Man:  I want you and Daddy to hold hands.
Mommy:  Ok.
Little Man:  Now kiss.
Mommy:  Ok.
Little Man:  Again.
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because it's bery sweet.

August 11, 2011

Mommy, guess what?  I didn't be bad today!

August 10, 2011

Mommy:  This note from the teacher says you were mean to your friend at school.
Little Man:  I wasn't mean.  I just called his picture ugly.

August 8, 2011

(Mommy is super excited to hear about the first day of school)
Mommy:  How was your first day of kindergarten?!
Little Man:  Fine.
Mommy:  Did you have fun?!
Little Man:  Yes.
Mommy:  What did you do?
Little Man:  I don't know.
Mommy:  Did you learn anything?
Little Man:  I don't remember.
Mommy:  (sigh)

August 4, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, I want to ride the school bus on the first day of school.
Mommy:  I think you should let me drive you to school.
Little Man:  No, I'm FIVE so I can ride the school bus.
Mommy:  I need to go to the school anyways to drop off your medicine.
Little Man:  Well, then you can just go by yourself and I'll take the school bus.

July 25, 2011

Little Man:  I saw a boy with curly hair.  Is that funny?
Mommy:  Boys can have curly hair too.  Your PaPa has curly hair.  That's where I got my curls.
Little Man:  Why did you take all of his curly hair?

July 21, 2011

Little Man:  Why is Kimmie going to marry?
Mommy:  Because that's what people do when they are older and they love each other.
Little Man:  Why?
Mommy:  That's just what they do.
Little Man:  Ok, then I want to marry Carson.

July 15, 2011

That's funny. I'm about to laugh.

July 11, 2011

Mommy, my stomach hurts.  I think we need to pray for it.

July 8, 2011

(looking at Mommy's feet under the bathroom door) 
Mommy, you are doing it backwards.

July 6, 2011

Mommy, I can't be upstairs by myself because I'm scared of the bear.

July 3, 2011

Little Man:  Did that [baby float] used to be mine when I was a baby?
GiGi:  No, that belongs to another baby that was over here.
Little Man:  GiGi, you do not need to be around any other babies.

July 1, 2011

Mommy:  Come sit by me.
Little Man:  I don't want to.
Mommy:  I'm gonna cry...
Little Man:  Mommy, don't cry.  Do not make drops come from your eyes.

June 20, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, can we go to PaPa's house?
Mommy:  No, it's too far.
Little Man:  Why?
Mommy:  Because he lives far away.  I wish he lived closer.
Little Man:  Well Mommy, you have to get a penny and find a wishing well and throw the penny in and say that you want PaPa to be closer and then he will be.

June 15, 2011

Mommy:  Put on your shoes, please.
Little Man:  You are mean.
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Cause I don't wanna put on my shoes.
Mommy:  I'm sorry, you have to wear shoes to school.
Little Man: You are not my friend anymore.

June 10, 2011

Mommy, let's put a tattoo on the dog.

June 6, 2011

Little Man:  I'm scared to go upstairs.
Daddy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because there's a ghost dog in the attic.

June 4, 2011

Mommy:  (on the phone) My house looks better now that the bushes are cut back.
Little Man:  Hey!  It's not YOUR house!  It's MY house!

June 3, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, help me catch Solo.
Mommy:  He keeps running away because he knows you are going to push him in the pool.
Little Man:  Come here Solo.... I just want to hug you and kiss you and pet you.  See, now he won't think I'm gonna push him.

June 1, 2011

Look at those flies with lights on their bottoms!

(lightning bugs)

May 27, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, let's marry.
Mommy:  I'm married to Daddy.
Little Man:  Ok, then let's just pretend to marry.

May 25, 2011

Daddy: What happened to your shirt?
Little Man:  Solo ate a hole in it.
Daddy:  Don't lie.  I saw you cutting your shirt with scissors.
Little Man:  Well, it was just an accident.  I accidently cut a big hole in my shirt.

May 24, 2011

She's a BIG girl...

May 22, 2011

Mommy, sometimes if I can't find my games to my DS it means that a ghost took them.  So we need to find the ghosts and get the games back.

May 17th, 2011

Mommy, I don't want to go to school today.  I just want to stay home and play with my legos.

May 13, 2011

Mommy, just stop talking.

May 10, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy let's color together.
Mommy:  Ok.  Can I color how I want to?
Little Man:  Yes, but you have to use the colors I give you and only color what I tell you to.
Mommy:  That doesn't sound like I get to color how I want to.
Little Man:  Well you have to.  Because if you don't I will be sad and if I'm sad then I will have to scribble all over your picture.
Mommy:  That doesn't sound very nice.
Little Man:  I know, so you have to do what I tell you to.

May 7, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, are you sick?
Mommy:  No, why?
Little Man:  Because you have black things under your eyes .

May 5, 2011

(home sick)
You know what?  I bet my friends are missing me.  They are saying "Where's Benjamin?  I bet he's sick".

April 26, 2011

Mommy:  Why do you always run out of the bathroom?
Little Man:  So the germs don't get me!

April 25, 2011

Mommy:  Do you have to go potty? 
Little Man:  No.
Mommy:  You are doing the pee-pee dance. Just go to the bathroom.
Little Man:  No!  I don't have to go!
Mommy:  You can pee outside...
Little Man:  Oh ok.  I'll pee outside.

April 21, 2011

Mommy:  Did you have an accident?
Little Man:  I think so.
Mommy:  What happened?
Little Man:  When I eat sausage biscuits they make me go potty in my pants.

April 20, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, can I push Solo in the pool?
Mommy: No.
Little Man:  But I saw you push him in the pool before.

(I confess, I did..)

April 18, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, look at my Easter egg.  It's beautiful!
Mommy:  Yes it is!  When we get home we can peel it and eat it.
Little Man: Mommy... (laughing) it's not a chicken anymore!

April 14, 2011

Little Man: (pouting) Mommy, I'm going to walk around with my arms folded like this.
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because you're not my friend anymore!

April 10, 2011

Daddy:  Why are you yelling for Mommy?
Little Man:  Because I need to tell on you!

April 1, 2011

Mommy: You shouldn't lie about these things. 
Little Man:  Mommy, it wasn't me, it's was something in my throat that was lying.
Mommy:  What's in your throat?
Little Man:  Sausage.  When I eat sausage biscuits it makes me lie. 

March 29, 2011

Mommy, the dog is licking my face!  He thinks I'm applesauce!

March 27, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, know what's funny?
Mommy:  What?
Little Man:  When Chloe was on the swing today I saw her UNDERWEAR!   Ha!!

March 20, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, can I take my DS to school?
Mommy:  No, it needs to stay with me.
Little Man:  Well then can you work at my school?

March 15, 2011

Mommy:  See those pretty trees?  Those are called Dogwoods.
Little Man:  Oh.....  Where are the cat ones?

March 10, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, who's your boyfriend?
Mommy:  You are.
Little Man:  (smiling)
Mommy:  Who's your girlfriend?
Little Man:  You are.   (smiling)

March 9, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, do you hear the birdies?
Mommy:  Yes.
Little Man:  They are talking to me.
Mommy:  What are they saying?
Little Man:  They said that you are pretty Mommy. 

March 7, 2011

Little Man: Mommy, I found a worm outside.  His name is Wormy.  Can I bring him inside?
Mommy:  No.
Little Man:  But he's my friend.

March 4, 2011

Mommy:  What do you want for breakfast?
Little Man:  I was a waffle with peanut butter...and some cheerios...and 2 sausage biscuits...and orange juice.
Mommy:  Is that all?
Little Man:  And some chocolate milk.

March 2, 2011

You are not nice.  I'm not gonna be your friend anymore.

February 28, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, I need something for show and tell that starts with "M".
Mommy:  Mommy starts with "M".  Do you want me to come for show and tell? 
Little Man:  No Mommy.  You won't fit in the show and tell baskets.

February 26, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, I'm scared.
Mommy:  Don't be scared.  Jesus will protect you.
Little Man:  Can he protect everybody?
Mommy:  Yes.
Little Man:  At the same time?
Mommy:  Yes.
Little Man:  Does Jesus have a lot of hands so he can protect a lot of people at the same time?

February 20, 2011

Daddy:  Come over here and let me brush your hair.
Little Man:  No!
Daddy:  Come on, we need to make you look sexy.
Little Man:  No, I don't want to be a sexy.  You can be a sexy, but not me.

February 18, 2011

Little Man:  Holy crap!
Mommy:  Don't say that.  You can say "Holy cow" instead.
Little Man:  "Holy cow"?  How about "Holy horse"?
Mommy:  I think it only works with "cow".
Little Man:  How about "frog"?  Frogs are good.  Holy frog!

February 16, 2011

Little Man:  I don't feel good.
Mommy:  What doesn't feel good?
Little Man:  My feelings.
Mommy:  Your feelings?
Little Man:  When my feelings don't feel good then my whole self doesn't feel good.

February 15, 2011

From now on, I'm going to wear my boots EVERY DAY.

February 14, 2011

Little Man: Mommy, I opened this card and dollars fell out!
Mommy:  How many dollars?
Little Man (he counts) FIVE DOLLARS!  Mommy, I have  A LOT of money!!

February 7, 2011

Mommy, I see a yellow and white planet in the sky.   I think aliens are going to come down and get us.

February 4, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, sometimes I wish I was a girl.
Mommy:  What?
Little Man:  I'm just tricking you.  But don't tell my teachers I said that.

February 2, 2011

Little Man: Mommy, your car has snow on it's ear.
Mommy:  You mean the mirror?
Little Man:  Oh yeah, the mirror. 

January 29, 2011

Mommy, I'm a dog.  Put a cone on my head.
(Our dog is currently wearing the cone of shame)

January 26, 2011

Little Man:  I want to listen to your heart Mommy.
Mommy:  Here it is (pointing to left side of chest)
Little Man:  (looking puzzled)  Mommy, do you have TWO hearts?

January 25, 2011

Mommy, you're not being nice.  You need to go to time out.

January 24, 2011

Mommy, when you don't feel good and I don't feel good, we need to sit together and hold hands.

January 23, 2011

Mommy, I wish that snow was hot and the sun was cold.  Wouldn't that be great?

January 21, 2011

Mommy, you are driving too close to the grass.  You need to drive straight!

(Did my 5 year old just call me a bad driver?)

January 19, 2011

Little Man:  Mommy, when we get to school, you have to tell everyone that this is Benjamin's world.
Mommy:  Why?  What does that mean?
Little Man:  It means that it's my world.  But it can be yours tomorrow.  Today it's mine.

January 18, 2011

Mommy, we have a new kid in our class. His name is Jessie.  But Jessie is a girl's name [from Toy Story].  Why does he have a girl's name?

January 17, 2011

DanDan:  I'm going to finish all my food before you even start on yours.
Little Man:  DanDan, it's not a race.

January 16, 2011

Daddy:  Are you ready to get up?
Little Man:  Yes.  Pick me up and carry me out of my bed.  Then leave me alone.

January 14, 2011

My bed's not soft enough so I have to sleep in yours.

January 13, 2011

Mommy:  Are you ready to get up?
Little Man:  No, I'm going to lay back down so I can dream.

January 12, 2011

(Little Man is laying in his bed, still awake when he should be sleeping)

Mommy:  Why are you still awake?
Little Man:  Because I'm just thinking.
Mommy:  What are you thinking about?
Little Man:  I'm just thinking about my friends.
Mommy:  What about your friends?
Little Man:  I'm thinking about my friends on a pirate ship.

January 10, 2011

Little Man:  I have to sleep in your bed, Mommy.
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because bears come into my room at night.

January 9, 2011

Mommy, this is Benjamin island. 

January 6, 2011

Little Man: You need to go in time out, Mommy. 
Mommy:  Why?
Little Man:  Because you aren't being a good listener.

January 5, 2011

I don't like Star Trek.  Only Star Wars.

January 3, 2011

Mommy, this is a Benjamin world.  That's just how it is.

January 2, 2011

I'd rather eat Grandma's oatmeal.

December 31, 2010

Little Man:  Mommy, you are a big girl.
Mommy:  No I'm not.
Little Man:  Yes you are!
Mommy:  No I'm not!